Sunday, May 11, 2008

Possible New Story

Hi I am working on a story that wouldn't leave my head and I would like your opinion on it. I look forward to hearing from you.



Molly stared at the screen in front of her in frustration. How hard could it be to write ten simple pages? Obviously extremely hard! Molly sighed in frustration. She had created a self imposed goal of ten pages a day but today she had been luck to manage a paragraph.

Molly reread her outline for this part of the book and reread the preceeding page and she started writing. She was in the middle of a murder scene when the phone rang next to her. Molly jumped and put her hand to her chest to try and calm her heart down, while she stared at the phone. She grabbed it and said, "Hel..."

"Molly, its Chris. I need your to come down to the station!"

"Why?"

"I have a case for you to work on."

"Chris, I'm retired. I am an author now."

Chris shouted, "Have you published anything?"

"Well, no, but I have a few articles submitted and I am working on my book."

"Molly please. We need you for this."

"Chris, you know why I don't take cases any longer."

"I know Molly, but you were a great detective. You shouldn't quit after one bad case."

"Chris, I almost died. If you hadn't come when you did I would have died. I am officially on disability because of my eyes."

"But you won't have to worry about your eyes for this one. I have a missing persons case for you that I need your expertise on."

Molly put her head down on the desk and sighed, "Who is the missing person?"

"Angel"

Molly's head popped up. "I'll be right down."

"I'll have Johnson pick you up. You aren't supposed to drive."

"Alright, I'll be ready in 10 minutes."

"Make it five, he already left."

"Chris!"

"Bye Molly."

Molly jumped up and ran into the bedroom. While she was throwing on some clean clothes, running a brush through her hair, tossing on some deodorant and brushing her teeth, she thought back to her last case.

It had seemed like a normal missing persons case. If you could call any missing person normal.

A young woman had gone missing. She had left work but never made it home. After two days they had found her car abandoned down by the lake. There hadn't been any sign of a struggle, her purse was missing, so it was assumed it was with her. Molly had ordered a sweep of the area just in case it had been dumped somewhere close by.

As they started to dig into her life, they found out she had a boyfriend. The husband had an alibi. He had been at the children's school volunteering during the time of her disappearance. Unless he had an accomplice he was in the clear.

They ended up tracing the lady's boyfriend to an old farm, but when they when to investigate and ask him some questions the investigation took a nosedive.

Molly was taken hostage and held for two weeks. They found out that the boyfriend had killed the woman because she wouldn't leave her husband and kids for him. While Molly was being held, Jonathan, the boyfriend, had tortured her. Her back had scars from him whipping her until she bled. She had a scar on her lower back where he had tattooed "whore" and she had it removed. He had sliced thin lines into her hands so she could never hold a gun again. He had raped her repeatedly and caused enough damage that she had to have a hysterectomy. But the worst thing he did to her was as the police were storming the door to get her out, he blew a fine dust into her eyes. Because of the extent of her other injuries they focused on her eyes to late and the fine powder had damaged her eyes enough that she was considered legally blind and unfortunately it wasn't a problem that glasses or surgery could fix.

She knew her house well enough that she could get around quickly and easily, but outside her home she was very limited.

Molly walked back into the front room grabbed her purse and keys just as the doorbell rang. She looked at the monitor next to the door to ensure that is was Officer Johnson before opening the door.

"Hi Molly," Ray said as she opened the door. "How have you been?"

"Hi Ray." Molly grinned at him as she gave him a quick hug. "I'm good but I hear you have been better. How is the redhead?"

"Molly," Ray exclaimed, as a blush rose up in his cheeks.

Molly's laughter filled the room as she grabbed her walking stick.

Ray just shook his head at her as he picked up her hand and placed it on his arm. He took her keys and after they had stepped over the threshold, turned and locked the door securely behind them.

Once Ray had her settled in the cruiser, he looked at her quickly, "We've missed you around the office, Molly. When are you coming back full time?"

Molly sighed, "Ray, I can't come back on the force with my eyes. They won't let me be a cop any longer."

"No, but you could be our resident mascot," Ray grinned at her as he pulled into traffic.

6 comments:

jadey said...

Patti,

I like this piece a lot. I think it has a lot of potential. I would certainly continue with the story.

Patti Winters said...

Thanks Jadey

KB said...

Hi Patti,

Intriguing. I would love to read more.

Patti Winters said...

Hi KB
Thanks for the comment, I will work on writing more for all of you

KB said...

*waits*

Patti Winters said...

your next part of the story is up, KB